With the encouragement of a few faithful friends and my loving husband, I endeavor to write a devotion every day. This commitment has changed my regular routine. Many of the things I used to do with my time are now spent studying His word and in prayer. Even the time I used to spend exercising is now spent writing what the Lord has shown me in a simple blog for Him.
I got on the scale today and I wanted to cry! The last time I weighed this much I was full-term pregnant with my eldest son! To a recovering anorexic-bulimic, this is sheer torture. All those old lies I used to believe start to resurface with new lies as partners. “You’re out of control! What are you doing to your body? Look at your house; it’s a mess! Where is the self-discipline?! Where is the order you used to keep your life? Get off that computer, close that Bible and work out!” There in the corner of my room, my gym clothes tempt me to leave my house early to work out and punish my body for being so soft and gushy. As I log on to my computer, images of friends on diets and health & wellness programs tempt me to spend money I don’t have on the latest-and-greatest fix to my problem. Suddenly I’m fixated on the image in the mirror; my hair is too short, my face looks old, my neck looks saggy, my belly looks pudgy…
~Psalm 73:21–22 When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you.~
My heart is pricked with the truth of His Word and the lies are expelled by the power of His truth. I am reminded by the psalmist in the verses that follow; He is with me, guiding me in His good counsel, preparing me to be received in glory. I am suddenly aware of who I am – and who HE IS. He has made me beautiful and wonderful (Ps 139). He is glad I have chosen the better part (Luk 10:42). He is clothing me in His righteousness (Is 61:10). He makes me beautiful in His time (Ecc 3:11). While I am commissioned to be a good steward of this temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 3:16), I am also to present my body to Him as a pleasing sacrifice, wholly surrendered, ready to be used for His glory.
~Romans 12:1–2 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. ~